Transition is weird. Makes you feel a little funny, inside and out. Unsure of what direction is right side up, what is reality and what is a dream state. Especially after you've been living in a dream state for months. I've felt this way every April since I started this job. It's funny...the other day I was talking to an athlete who felt the same way. She's been doing this for 15 years. It doesn't go away, but each spring we seem caught off guard by its return. What's most odd is that we think we're in this alone...that we're the only ones feeling lonely; lost. Or just a little awry and peculiar. Peculiarity is kind of my normal.
It's a little bit like a bear coming out of hibernation...only maybe less fat and happy. Wait, I take that back - probably just as fat and just as sad as a bear is happy. And, bears stop moving in the winter, while we frantically move from one place to the next, without breathing. Ok, so maybe it's not like a bear coming out of hibernation at all, really. In the sense that we are reintroducing ourselves to society without a strict schedule and plan of action, though, it is similar. I have loads of work to do, and seemingly loads of time to do it. And all I want to do is just sit and do nothing, but at the same time, I want to do everything. A little bored (I loathe boredom). Impatient. Unimportant. Unstimulated. A little sad. Anxious. Unable to sleep through the night.
The moon is nearly full. I've always been eerily in tune with the moon cycle, feeling its energy and listening to what it has to say. My mother, who is a midwife, often told me tales of oddities and chaos in the hospital around the full moon. There's something to it. I've read about this full moon. It's being called the "Pink Moon" or the "Wind Moon" (in Pagan traditions). This full moon, today, is all about change in nature and the ways in which we can enact similar changes in our own lives. Winter has come and gone, but the wind remains, stirring up seeds and pollen. Flowers are starting to bloom adding color to the landscape. Regrowth. Transition to focusing on new beginnings and change coming our way as well. Coming out of hibernation and finding ourselves, once again.
A sort of reminder of our own strength and a call to action that we've survived the winter and it's now time to start thinking about what we need to do in order to thrive this summer. Coincidentally - or maybe not so much - this moon aligns with the Buddhist New Year. In Theravadan countries like Thailand, Laos, Sri Lanka, etc, Buddhists will celebrate their New Year for three days after the first full moon in April. A sort of ritual for letting go of pain and suffering in a quest to find an "enlightenment" state of being. I've always been intrigued by Buddhism and its four noble truths: dukkha (suffering exists and is due to the fact that everything is impermanent), Samudaya (suffering caused by expectations and cravings), Nirodha (suffering will cease when we let go of expectations and attachment to desire ceases), and Nirvana (the freedom and liberation we experience when we let go and our suffering subsides. Full moon evenings are energetic peaks and rituals can be performed to focus our energy on what we'd like to cleanse or accept into our lives. Like, burning sage in an effort to cleanse the negative and invite the positive vibrations in. (Side note: no, I am not high right now. I've just been reading Elephant Journal).
With each passing day, I'm settling into the slower pace of life and appreciating it. On April 1st I started a 21-day challenge with a friend, which includes meditation, journaling, movement, gratitude, etc. It's not too different than what I had been doing last spring with Tim Ferriss' 5-minute journal and my daily Headspace meditation, but it's nice to get back into the flow and it's amazing what some mindful moments can gift you.
Looking forward to springtime, new beginnings, and regrowth. But for now I'm just looking forward to the energy of tonight's full moon as I tell myself the following words:
Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming.
And here are some tips for how to be a moon child...
- Never stop exploring.
- Follow the moon.
- Stay wild.
- Walk barefoot; listen to the wind.
- Always be yourself.
- Say YES to new adventures.
- Be brave. Be kind. Be curious.